ROHMC17 #3: Almost Human (2013)

More like Almost Snoozin’, because I was so bored by the end of it.

That’s just mean being an ass, but at one point Almost Human does slow down a painful amount and what was once intriguing and suspenseful becomes a dull slog that makes its 80-minute runtime feel much longer. It’s frustrating, because despite the brutal pace and the tiresome repetition of violent deaths, writer/director Joe Begos’ talents is clearly evident. The guy has a knack for directing and the ability to generate cool ideas, he just seems to have trouble translating them into feature-length films that keep your attention. I have every intention of checking out his follow-up effort, The Mind’s Eye, but for all its promise, Almost Human isn’t worth its already short runtime.

ROHMC17 #2: Bonejangles (2017)

Prepare yourself, the orgasmic moans of our coitus shall echo down into the deepest, darkest pits of hell.

Bonejangles is what I end up with when Redbox gives me a rent one, get one free deal and I’ve got nothing to lose on the freebie. It’s a horror-comedy, so the above quote is designed to be laughed at. The film tries really hard to make you laugh and on occasion it succeeds. The titular character of Bonejangles actually seems like he’d be a cool slasher, but the film is more concerned with being funny. That isn’t bad in of itself, but it does lean into the comedy side hard enough that it sometimes feels like a crutch to misdirect you away from the bad parts. The acting leaves a lot to be desired and it can’t hold a tone to save its life, but I can’t deny that I laughed pretty hard at a few gags. If you’re looking for no-budget cheese, you could do a lot worse than Bonejangles.

 

ROHMC17 #1: Leviathan (1989)

I kicked off the annual Reddit October Horror Movie Challenge with a film I’ve been wanting to watch for some time: George P. Cosmatos’ Leviathan. Cosmatos’ filmography might not be long, but he helmedĀ  the critically-acclaimed Tombstone, as well as Cobra and Rambo First Blood: Part II, the latter of which features Richard Crenna, who also appears in Leviathan. It was written by Jeb Stuart and David Peoples. Stuart was coming off of Die Hard and Peoples co-wrote Blade Runner and would go on to write Unforgiven. There’s a talented trio behind the camera and the screenplay.

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